The Longest Hour
by sophie83540
Summary: Something has been going on inside Spencer's mind. The team tries to figure out what and how to stop it.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, sadly.**

**AN: This story takes place after Zugzwang. There's a little bit of sickness in this story ( mainly only vomiting).**

The man gripped his hair viciously, tugging on the ends. Sitting on the floor in the corner he isolated himself from the rest of the room; almost anything and everything was scattered across the floor. His face was red and damp with fresh tears; dripping down to lap. The man curled in on himself, bringing his knees to his chest, hugging them tightly. He clamped his hands over his ears, the screaming getting louder and louder.

"Stop, please," He begged, "Please," He sobbed loudly.

"You did this!" The voice growled back.

"Stop, please,"

"You were always worth nothing." The man could almost see the venom dripping from the figures mouth.

"Go away," He whispered, too exhausted to fight anymore.

Spencer woke up huddled in a corner. His head throbbed harshly; like a bomb ticking, waiting to explode. Looking around his apartment he noticed that it was a wreck. There were books and glass covering the floor. Rubbing his hands over his face he mumbled, "What happened?" quietly to himself. Standing up shakily, Reid glanced at his clock, noticing he was for work. "Shit!"

Arriving at work, he rushed into the conference room, apologizing quickly as he sat down. Averting his attention towards the board in front of him, he felt Hotch's pensive gaze on him, almost as if he was staring deep into his soul. Moments later, Hotch also looked at the board as Garcia started to rattle off facts about the case. But Spencer couldn't hear anything that she was saying, the voices screaming at him once again as a picture of a girl laid dead on the floor popped up on the screen. Spencer ran a hand through his hair, fidgeting in his seat slightly. Taking deep breaths, he tried to calm himself, but nothing was helping.

Reid could feel the bile rushing up his throat. Moments later, he mumbled, "Excuse me," and rushed off to the bathroom, retching violently into the garbage can, unable to make it to the stall. Spencer sank to the floor, tears springing into his eyes and dripping down slowly. Suddenly the bathroom door opened, revealing his concerned looking unit chief. Aaron walked towards Reid and crouched down next to him.

"Are you alright, Reid?" he asked.

"Yeah… I'll be fine," Spencer spoke quietly.

"Has anything been bothering you lately?"

"No," Spencer lied.

"You've seemed off lately. Today you came into work late, unexpectedly rushed out of the room during the briefing, and I'm assuming that you got sick." Hotch said.

Reid wasn't paying attention; he placed his hands over his ears. "Stop," He begged.

"What, Reid?" Aaron asked.

"Please, I'm begging you,"

"Reid, what's the matter?" Concern washed over Hotch's calm exterior.

"They won't stop." Reid murmured.

"Who?"

"I don't know who they are."

"What are you talking about, Spencer?"

"They keep screaming at me." Reid mumbled.

Hotch reached forward and placed his hand on the younger man's forehead. He sighed when it was warm. "Spencer, you're burning up." He informed.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for the nice comments! I never thought that I'd get that many follows in just a couple days. They mean a lot to me!**

"Do you feel like you're going to get sick again?" Hotch asked, hoping the answer would be no. He could personally deal with seeing someone hurt, only because it was his job. But when it came to his team, he couldn't bear to see someone on his team injured or ill.

Spencer shook his head slightly, "I don't think so," he whispered.

"Come with me to my office, we need to talk." Reaching his office, he said, "I want you to stay behind on this case."

"What? No," Reid's voice cracked.

"Something's bothering you, I'd rather have you stay behind and get it sorted out instead of coming with us." Aaron stated.

"Nothing's wrong with me. I can work the case, Hotch." Reid insisted.

"Reid, you vomited, then you were complaining of hearing 'them' scream at you."

"What?" Spencer asked.

"Reid?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What do you mean, Reid?" Hotch was confused.

"I don't remember that." Spencer announced quietly.

"What?"

"Hearing people screaming at me." Reid clarified.

"You told me yourself." Hotch said.

"What are you talking about?" Spencer asked again.

"Spencer, you don't remember?" Hotch asked.

"No."

"Just wait here for a second. I'll be right back." Aaron said.

Walking into the conference room, Hotch noticed that everyone turned towards him, awaiting answers.

"What happened?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah, why did he leave so quickly?" JJ asked.

"Look, I think we have a problem." Hotch announced.

"What's wrong?" Rossi asked.

"First of all, Reid got sick. Secondly, he was complaining of hearing 'them' scream at him. But when I asked him about it a few minutes later he didn't remember." Aaron informed.

Before anyone could say anything, a scream echoed through the hall. Hotch rushed down to his office, finding Reid on the floor. He was sitting in the corner, his knees up to his chest, rocking back and forth. His hands were over his ears as he mumbled words to nothing.

"Spencer?" Hotch asked, but there was no reply.

**/**

"Spencer?" Aaron called again, but there was still no answer. Hotch lightly shook Reid's shoulders to jerk him back to reality. Instead, something else happened.

"No!" He yelled, "Get away from me!" Spencer smacked Hotch's hands away.

"Reid. It's me, Hotch," But Reid wasn't listening.

Garcia walked into the room, "Oh my gosh! What's happening?"

"I don't know." It wasn't Hotch to get lost in his thoughts, but this time, he was.

Garcia bent down next to Reid, "Spencer, what's going on?" She asked sweetly in a calm voice.

"They won't stop," Reid murmured quietly.

"Who, Spencer?" She asked.

"The voices." He clarified.

"Hotch, I think something's wrong. Seriously wrong." Garcia told him.

"I know. That's what I was afraid of." Hotch confessed.

**/**

"Help me, please," Spencer begged.

"How?" Garcia asked.

"Make them go away,"

"Do you know who they are, Reid?" Hotch asked gently.

Reid shook his head, "No," He whispered.

"What are they doing, Spencer?" Penelope kept her voice calm.

"Screaming at me," Spencer mumbled.

"What are they saying?" Aaron spoke up.

"They're saying that I'm a failure and that I did this." Reid clarified.

"You did what?" Garcia asked.

"Got Maeve killed." He said, tears coming to his eyes.

"You didn't do that, Reid." Hotch replied.

"They don't think so." Reid murmured.

"I'll be right back, please watch him." Hotch said.

Garcia nodded, "Of course,"

Hotch walked into the conference room, "JJ, a moment," He called.

JJ walked by Hotch, "What's wrong with Spencer?" She asked.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. There's something wrong with Reid. It's hard to say what right now, but I need you to watch him in my office while I talk to Garcia." Aaron told her.

"Alright, do you think he'd do better with me?"

"I don't know, but it's worth a shot."

When JJ walked into Hotch's office she placed her hand over her mouth. "Oh my," She whispered to herself. Spencer looked scared and lost; something JJ couldn't bear.

Hotch signaled for Garcia to come over to him. They went farther down the catwalk, where it was quieter. "What do you think is wrong?" Hotch asked.

"Maybe the guilt is getting to him. You know he never really seemed like he was alright again." Garcia guessed.

"I think that may play a part, but it seems more serious."

_***Meanwhile in Hotch's Office***_

JJ sat on the floor next to Reid, "Hey, Spence," She said sweetly.

"Leave me alone." Spencer muttered.

"Spence?" JJ called, moving to rub her hand through his hair.

He pushed her hand away, turning around, his back facing her. "Go away." He repeated.

"Spencer, don't do this." JJ said.

"Leave me alone!" Reid's voice raised.

"Fine." She mumbled bitterly, getting up and walking away.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for the comments, they mean a lot. The next chapter will probably be longer and have more about what's going on with Spencer.**

Hotch noticed JJ quickly walking out of his office. She brushed past him in one swift movement. "JJ," He called, "What are you doing?"

"Leaving." She muttered angrily.

"JJ, wait!" He called again. But she didn't stop, "Agent Jareau, come over here." Aaron spoke in his firm FBI voice.

JJ knew that Hotch wasn't to be messed with when he used that tone of voice. She stopped in her tracks and walked back over towards Hotch.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"He didn't want me in there with him." She mumbled.

"That doesn't mean that you leave him alone!" Aaron's voice raised, "All I asked was for you to stay in there with him, you didn't need to do anything else." The anger boiled up inside of Hotch. How could she think of herself more than her friend that was in trouble and needed help?

"He didn't want me in there. He yelled at me because I was sitting next to him. What did you expect me to do?"

"Just go back to the conference room." Hotch ordered, "If you want something you have to do it yourself." He mumbled as he walked towards his office.

**/**

"Reid?" Hotch called as he stepped into his office. Reid was still in the corner on the floor, but he didn't reply. "Reid." He called again. Still no reply. Hotch walked over towards Reid and found that he was sleeping soundly. His face looked relaxed, something he hadn't looked in a couple days.

"How is he?" Garcia asked.

"Shh, he's sleeping," Hotch informed.

"Good. He needs to be able to rest."

"Do you think we should move him somewhere more comfortable?" Aaron asked.

"Just let him sleep, he may be on the floor, but he's sleeping." Penelope said.

"I guess you're right." Hotch agreed.

_***A Few Hours Later***_

Spencer woke up, rubbing his eyes. He glanced around the room, no one was with him. Reid stood up, rubbing his hands over his face. Walking out of Hotch's office, he noticed Morgan.

"You're up." Morgan said, walking over to him, "How are you feeling, kid?" He asked.

"I'm fine," Reid assured, "Why isn't anyone gone. Didn't we have a case?" It hit him that they had a case.

"Hotch called Strauss, she sent another team." Derek informed.

"Where is Hotch?" Spencer asked.

"In the conference room with the others,"

"Alright," Reid walked off towards the conference room. While he was walking the room started to spin. Before Spencer could do anything, the room went black, all he heard was morgan calling his name.

**/**

"Reid?" Morgan called, shaking Spencer's shoulders lightly. Derek shook his head, "Hotch!" He yelled.

"What's wrong?" Hotch asked before walking out onto the catwalk.

"Reid just passed out."

Aaron rushed over, "What happened?"

"He woke up, asked where you were, I told him, and when he went to go into the conference room, he passed out." Morgan explained.

"If he doesn't wake up soon, we'll have to call an ambulance." Hotch informed.

Thankfully, a few minutes later, Reid woke up. His head throbbed harshly, making it feel like lead. When he glanced around, the concerned faces of Hotch and Morgan came into focus.

"Reid, what just happened?" Derek asked.

"I'm fine…" Spencer trailed off.

"Reid, you're not fine. You just blacked out." Hotch said firmly.

"I said I'm fine!" Spencer's voice raised. He moved to stand up, but swayed dangerously.

"Woah, Reid," Morgan put his arm around Reid's waist to help steady him. He brought Reid back into Hotch's office.

When Spencer sat down he murmured, "I feel like I'm going to be sick…" Morgan moved quickly to grab the trash can and hold it under Reid while he got sick. Hotch was crouched down next to Reid, rubbing his back soothingly. After a few times of retching, all he could do was dry heave.

"Spencer, you really need to tell us what's bothering you." Aaron said gently.

"Nothing's bothering me," Reid said.

"Kid, I know something's bothering you. There's tell-tale signs." Morgan added.

"It's nothing." Spencer murmured again.

"Reid, if you don't tell us, we can't help you." Hotch informed.

"Nothing's wrong," Reid repeated.

"Reid." Hotch said firmly.

"Leave me alone," Spencer murmured.

"Reid, we're nothing leaving until you give us answers." Morgan stated.

"Go away," Reid muttered.

"Morgan, I think we should leave him alone for a little bit." Hotch said.

"What?" Morgan couldn't believe what his unit chief was saying, "I'm not going to watch him wash himself away and not do anything about it." Derek shot back angrily.

"Morgan. Let's go." Hotch ordered.

When they stepped outside of Hotch's office, Morgan said, "I'm not letting him do this to himself."

"I know you're not. But we need to give him some time to relax. Something's obviously wrong, and we're not going to get answers if we approach him with force." Hotch explained.

"How else are we supposed to get answers?" Morgan asked, "He's not talking anyway we approach him!" Derek yelled.

"Stop!" Hotch and Morgan both turned to look at the young man in the room. Spencer had his hands over his ears, crying softly. "Just stop yelling," He murmured.

"I'm sorry, kid," Morgan apologized, "I'll stop,"

"Spencer, would you be willing to tell _me _what's going on?" Hotch asked.

Reid shook his head, "I can't,"

"Why?" Aaron asked.

"I don't know what's going on." Reid confessed.

**A/N: A/N: Thanks to suggestions from missilenthorse and maxandkiz , I have finally picked a poison for what's happening to our dear baby Spencer. I have done hours of research to figure out the exact things I want to do. Again, thank you for the support, I couldn't have asked for anything better. What's bothering Reid? I guess you'll have to wait to find out. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N (Important!): I have joined a couple of the previous chapters together, since I felt it would be more organized that way for me. (Back to normal basics) This chapter some-what gives more insight to what's going on with Reid, but not much. Don't worry, it's going to be revealed soon.**

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Hotch asked.

"I don't know what's bothering me." Spencer said.

"How?" Aaron couldn't understand what was going on exactly in Spencer's mind. But something was wrong. No doubt.

"I don't remember," Reid murmured, staring down at his hands.

"But you're Reid, how can you not remember." Derek piped in.

"I don't know…" Spencer trailed off.

"This doesn't make any sense." Hotch said. Something changed in Reid's eyes quickly. He stared ahead, his eyes vacant. "Reid, are you alright?" He asked.

Spencer could barely hear his boss' voice. It sounded like a distant whisper. Suddenly, Reid jerked forward, falling to the floor in one swift movement. His body repeatedly jerking, limbs flailing in different directions.

"Morgan, call an ambulance." Hotch ordered. He tried to restrain Spencer the best he could to prevent the younger man from hurting himself. "Oh, what is going on with you, Spencer?" He murmured more to himself than anyone else.

**/**

Morgan tapped his foot repeatedly on the floor, waiting for Spencer's doctor to come and give information. Hotch, who had not come back get, had gone to get them coffee. Suddenly, a voice sounded, "Spencer Reid?" The doctor called.

Morgan stood up, walking over to the doctor, "What caused him to have a seizure?" He asked.

"My name is Dr. Marsda. It seems that there is nothing physically wrong with Dr. Reid." She said.

"How can that be possible?" Derek asked, "He had a seizure, and blacked out hours before."

"I know, though there's nothing physically wrong with Dr. Reid as far as I can see through the tests I've run. But I'd like to keep him overnight to observe the events in the next twelve hours."

"Alright. Thank you, Doctor." Morgan said.

Minutes later, Hotch came back with two coffees, handing one to Derek, he asked, "Did the doctor come yet?"

"Yeah," Morgan said.

"What did they say?"

"She said that there's nothing physically wrong with Reid." Morgan informed.

"How can that be?" Aaron asked, confused.

"I don't know. But she said that she wanted to keep him overnight to observe how he acts."

"There's only one other thing I can think this might be…" Hotch trailed off.

"No, Hotch. He's past the age where it could happen." Morgan denied.

"He was afraid that this could happen."

"But that doesn't explain him blacking out _and _having a seizure." Derek said.

"I know, but it's a possibility." Hotch replied.

"I'm not assuming anything right now until I know what happens tonight."

**/**

During the night, Spencer woke with a jerk. In the dark room he couldn't see anything, scaring him deeply. He felt his heart beat in his chest, beating loudly. His heart rate monitor beeped quickly, like a bomb before it was going to explode. The sound startled Morgan awake. He pressed the button for the doctor quickly. "Calm down, Reid," He said.

"What happened?" The doctor asked.

"His heart rate monitor started beeping very quickly." Derek explained.

"Dr. Reid, I need you to take deep breaths in and out." She said gently, "Good job, Spencer," She said when Reid's breathing evened out.

"Do you think that there's something psychologically wrong with him instead of physically?" Morgan asked.

"In order to take that into consideration, I'll need you to answer a few questions about Dr. Reid." The doctor said.

"I think I can do that."

"Is there any mental illness in Dr. Reid's family?" She asked.

Derek felt his stomach drop, a lump forming in his throat, "Yes, his mother's schizophrenic." He answered.

**A/N: Dun… Dun… Dunnnnn…..**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Oh my lord. I'm so sorry for the long wait! I have been figuring out what I wanted to do with the story. I haven't given up on it at all. I hope you still have interest in this story. Warning: This part will be sad. Very sad. Plus you kind of get an insight on what's happening with Reid.**

_Derek felt his stomach drop, a lump forming in his throat, "Yes, his mother's schizophrenic." He answered._

"Well, that could be a possibility, but schizophrenia usually skips on generation, if any at all." Dr. Marsda said.

"He has a few symptoms that could be questionable, but everything else seems like normal sickness." Morgan replied.

"What symptoms is he showing?"

"He claims that are people screaming at him. Then when you ask him about it, he doesn't remember." Derek explained.

"Was there a traumatic event that occurred?" The doctor asked.

Morgan closed his eyes briefly, the memory flashing before his eyes, "Yes, a month ago. Spencer had a 'girlfriend', per-say. She was murdered right before his eyes." He informed.

"Dr. Reid said that there were people screaming at him, did he say who?"

"No. He doesn't know who they are."

"Well, that is a symptom of Schizophrenia, but not remembering, that's not anything I've seen before in Schizophrenia patients." Dr. Marsda said.

"What does the seizure and dizziness come from then?" Morgan asked.

"Sometimes these things happen, we may not know why or how." She explained, "From what I can see physically, he's fine to go home in the morning."

"Thank you, doctor,"

In the morning, Derek called Hotch. Morgan had forced Aaron to go home during the night, saying that he would be fine on his own.

"Hotchner," He answered.

"Hey, the doctor said that Reid is able to be released this morning."

"Did you tell her Reid's symptoms?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah, she said that it probably isn't Schizophrenia."

"Well that's good."

"Yeah, the only good news we've had so far." Morgan said.

"So when we bring him to his apartment, who's going to stay with him?" Hotch asked.

"I think I should. If something happens and he's aware of it, he'll close the opportunity of talking because he will be embarrassed that you're seeing him in a bad state. Reid always wants you to see that he's capable of pushing through." Derek explained.

"You're probably right." Aaron agreed, "But if anything happens, call me immediately." He ordered.

"I will, Hotch."

"Good luck,"

"I need it. Bye," Morgan finalized then hung up his phone.

***Hours later at Reid's apartment***

"Try to get some sleep, Reid." Morgan said, "I'll be in here, call me if you need me."

"Alright," Spencer sighed. Walking into his bedroom he closed his door and sat down on his bed. Running his hands through his hair, he thought about the past few days. There was something that plagued him. The question ran through his brain. Was he going crazy?

Ever since Maeve had been killed, things had changed, drastically. He no longer had the same happiness inside of him. Almost every night he woke up extremely terrified from nightmares and replays of Maeve getting killed over and over again. Only one thing rushed through his mind. He was the cause of her death. He hadn't done enough to keep her alive.

Deep down he knew that the guilt was overtaking him. When the bouts of guilt came his subconscious was trying to push the truth out of his conscious mind. Resulting in him not remembering what had happened. But in his heart he knew there was something more than just guilt plaguing him. Sighing deeply, Spencer pulled the covers back on his bed and slipped in. Closing his eyes, he hoped he wouldn't have another nightmare.

"No, no, no!" Spencer yelled, "Don't hurt her!" Tears streamed down his face, "No!" He cried, gasping for air, "No. Why?"

Reid's voice caught Derek's attention quickly. Rushing to Reid's room he called his name. Finding the younger man still asleep, Morgan shook Spencer's shoulders, calling his name again. Reid didn't wake up though. He thrashed at Morgan. Derek called Spencer's name again, louder this time. This time though, Reid did wake up.

Spencer jerked awake, gasping for air. His heart beated quickly, like a bomb ticking before it was going to explode. He could feel his heart beating like it was going to come out of his chest. Moments later, the concerned face of Morgan came into his focus.

"Are you alright, Reid?" Derek asked.

"Uh… yeah… I'm fine," Spencer replied.

"Spencer, I want to help you. In order for that I need you to tell me what's going on."

"I'm fine, it was just a nightmare." Reid insisted.

"You've been having nightmares for a while. Haven't you?"

"No…" Spencer trailed off.

"Yes, you have. I know what it feels like to have nightmares about something that has hurt you deeply. You can talk to me." Morgan spoke softly.

"Nothing's bothering me. It was just a random nightmare."

"Reid. I know that it's not just a random nightmare. Give up the act. I know you're going through pain. Trust me. I see the pain in your eyes. You may think you're doing a good job at hiding your feelings on your face, but your eyes tell more. I see an emptiness in them." Derek paused, watching the behavior of the younger man, then continued speaking.

"I've seen you upset before, but it's nothing like this. This isn't the Spencer Reid I know. This is someone who's going through a lot of pain, but keeps it bottled up inside. You're only hurting yourself. I know what it can do to you. It will tear you down."

Spencer looked down at the floor, biting his lip. His lips twitched with the oncoming emotion. Reid closed his eyes, when he opened them, new tears spilled down his cheeks. Wracking sobs ran through his body, shaking his small frame. He placed his head in his hands, feeling the tears spill down into his hands.

Morgan watched his friend break down. The sound of continuous sobs and whimpers filling his ears. He didn't touch Spencer, or try to comfort him; he just let the younger man sob for as long as he needed to. Finally after about ten minutes, Spencer began to calm down. He wiped the tears from his eyes, sniffling thickly from the crying.

"Spencer, go blow your nose please, it will help." Derek said. Spencer nodded slightly, getting off and walking towards the bathroom. Once Reid was out of hearing distance, Morgan pulled out his phone and dialed Hotch's number.

"Hotchner," Aaron picked up.

"Hotch, I think I know what's wrong with Reid…"

**A/N: Oooooooo! What's going on?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter has slightly graphic mention of blood. Also a scene of cutting and attempted suicide. You have been warned. **

"Hotch, I think I know what's wrong with Reid…"

"What happened?" Hotch asked.

"Well, first Reid had another nightmare, a really bad one. Second, I asked him what was wrong and told him what I thought about him going through everything. He ended up having a breakdown." Morgan explained.

"So…" Aaron trailed off.

"I think he's suffering from guilt of what happened with Maeve, first of all. But, I think he may also have PTSD(1)."

"But what does the seizure and blacking out have to do with all of this?"

"I'm not really sure." Derek confessed.

"Well, everything else makes sense though. The frequent nightmares and even him reacting badly towards JJ."

"Wait, what?"

"What?"

"What did he do to JJ?" Morgan asked.

"He yelled at her, didn't want her around him."

"Did she do something to provoke him?"

"Not as far as I know." Hotch informed.

"He may think of her as Diane."

"How? They don't look the same."

"They're both petite and have hurt him in some way. I mean JJ didn't mean to, but it's kind of the same idea… Maybe it makes more sense to him." Derek explained.

Hotch felt a sting in his heart, remembering the whole mess with Emily and how deeply Reid was affected, as well as everyone else. "I guess,"

Spencer stood in front of his bathroom mirror, watching his reflection stare back at him. He stared at his pale face, the lack of sleep affecting him. The dark circles around his eyes were more pronounced than normal, giving him the "death" look. His hair was a wreck, pointing in all different directions, but at the moment, he could care less.

Reid glanced around the bathroom, looking for that one thing. He rummaged through draws and cabinets, attempting to find it. Soon, he found it, holding it in his hand. The blade had a rough, but razor sharp edge that would slice skin easily in one swipe. He contemplated whether or not he should do this. But after a few moments, he knew he had to do it. There needed to be something done.

The young man held the blade in his hand, carefully sliding it down his arm. He didn't wince once when the dark red blood flowed from the large cut, dripping to the floor. Something felt right about doing this, something that had been missing since Maeve died.

Spencer pushed the blade further into his arm, digging into his muscle tissue. This needed to be done. He needed to pay for what he had done. A life was lost because he was so careless. This time something would be permanent. He would die. He must die.

Then suddenly something changed. There was no longer the numbing feeling inside of him. The numbing was replaced with a dizziness. His head felt like it was being dragged down by anchors. He could feel himself become unsteady. He heard a bang before the world went black.

"Reid," Morgan called, walking towards the bathroom. No response. "Reid." He called again, but this time louder. Still no response. "Reid." Walking into the bathroom, his heart dropped. Spencer was lying on the floor, a pool of blood around him. "Reid!" Derek yelled.

Getting closer to Reid, Morgan saw that the younger man had cut into his arm, a bloody blade on the floor. Morgan placed his forefinger on Spencer's wrist attempting to find a pulse. Thankfully there still was a pulse. Pulling his phone out, he dialed 911 immediately.

"Do you know why he attempted suicide?" Hotch asked, feeling his nerves raging.

"No," Morgan replied, "The last time I saw him I told him to go into the bathroom to clean himself up from his breakdown. I didn't even know that he had a blade. How could I have been so stupid? I should've known to not leave him alone. This is all my fault. It I would've been watching him we wouldn't be in this mess." Derek took his anger out on himself.

"Morgan, it wasn't your fault. You didn't know he was going to do this."

"I should've known he was in there for too long!" The anger boiled up in Derek.

"Morgan, calm down. Everything will be alright."

JJ awoke to the sound of her phone ringing, rubbing her hands over her face she sighed, there was probably another case. "Agent Jareau," She answered sleepily.

"JJ, it's me, Rossi."

"What, do we have a case?" She asked.

"No, something happened to Reid." He informed.

"Wait, what?" She asked, bolting upward into a sitting position.

"Reid attempted suicide. He's okay, but he needed to get stiches. Spencer dug into his muscle tissue with a razor blade." Rossi explained.

"Oh my gosh," JJ gasped, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth in shock. "Will he be okay?"

"Yeah, he just needed stiches."

"No, I mean mentally." JJ clarified.

"I don't know, but he's strong, he'll end up pulling through."

JJ couldn't help but think of how she acted when Spencer had yelled at her. She acted so selfish, not thinking of what her friend was going through. Guilt ran through her body.

"JJ, it's not your fault." Rossi said after a long silence.

"But, I could've been a reason why he went over the edge."

"JJ, no one knew what he was going through at that moment. We didn't know he was mentally unstable."

"I don't know what I would do if I lost him." She confessed.

"Me too. But beyond the point, he's alive. And that's the best thing."

**(1) PTSD: Post traumatic stress disorder**


End file.
